


All Right - For Now

by koalathebear



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 12:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1226245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koalathebear/pseuds/koalathebear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a missing scene set during episode 2.02 Alarm (you can watch the episode in question here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQKF8lOXaUY).  Just a chat between Rae and Archie and then Rae and Finn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Right - For Now

They sit in the café sharing a milkshake. It's low fat at Rae's request.

"This really tastes like shite, you know," Archie tells her balefully even as he sucks up the shake through the straw.

"It's supposed to be healthy," Rae tells him quellingly. "We can't all eat like pigs and stay skinny like you, Archie. So unfair," she mumbles while glaring at him.

"They say it will hit me later … one day I'll wake up and my gut will punch me in the face," he tells her comfortingly.

"So what's this about?" she wants to know, staring at him fixedly. The gang's social interactions are fluid. Sometimes they hang out as a group at the chippy, at the pub or somewhere else … sometimes they hang out in smaller groups. Archie had been looking particularly mysterious when he asked her to come out with him today, though. After they had parked his scooter and he had walked towards an up-market looking café rather than one of their usual haunts, she had known that it was not going to be one of their usual catch-ups.

She's no fool. It's inevitable that it's going to be about this afternoon's 'group' session organised by Chloe – as bossy as she is well-meaning. 

"Wanted a chance to talk to you without having Chloe shoving a stupid ketchup bottle in my hand," he tells her with a grimace.

"Yeah, that was … special," she agrees, pulling a face.

"Are you all right now?" he wants to know, aware that his words are inadequate. Rae finds herself smiling despite the fact that she always dreads that question.

 _Are you all right now?_

What does that even mean? All right by whose standards? Yes she's all right because she's sitting here drinking a low fat milkshake with Archie instead of lying in a hospital bed like Tix. Yes she's all right because for some crazy reason, a boy as fit as Finn seems to think she's worth his time. She's all right. For now.

Her hands go down and trace the ridges of the scars that she imagines that can feel through her leggings. She wonders if the scars will ever fade or if like ancient hieroglyphs they will linger on her flesh forever recounting the story of the day that life was too much for her.

"You don't have to worry about me, Archie," she tells him. She cares for him too much to lie to him but she also doesn't want to subject him to the heavy, destructive darkness that is only ever two breaths away. "I'm out now," she tells him with a big, bright smile that is only half fake.

"OK … but you know I'm your friend, right? I'm here for you – if you need me." His face is earnest and she loves him for it.

She keeps the smile steady with an effort. She knows he means it … but he doesn't really know what it would involve. Is he going to reach out and turn off the scalding hot water, take the blade from her hand, slam the doors of the larder shut? Can he smash all the mirrors in her house and destroy anything in the world in which she can see her reflection?

"Thanks," she tells him and she also means it. She's had people in the system telling her that they're there for her but with the exception of Kester, it's always seemed like an empty platitude. Archie, for all his naivety is genuine in his desire to help.

"Right, well that's good then," he says, exhaling slowly and with relief. He pushes his glasses up and looks thoughtful for a moment.

"I wonder which one of us is more disenfranchised, Rae."

Rae stares at him. "You what? Are you comparing being gay with being fat and mad?" she demands, looking a little incredulous.

"Not comparing," he says, shaking his head. "Just thinking … both are things that set us apart … that cause us considerable emotional distress."

"Mine is an illness, yours is not," she tells him flatly. "There's nothing wrong with being gay, there's everything wrong with being fat and mad."

"There are still plenty of countries in the world where it's illegal to be gay," he points out.

"You can pass as straight … no one has to know that you're gay unless you tell them," she tells him. "I can't hide ..." she gestures a hand over her body. "What I am."

"Why should I have to hide?"

"That's not the point – the point is, you can if you want. I can't."

Archie stabs his straw into the milkshake which has long deflated into a thin liquid. "You're right … I'm not comparing … I'm just finding ways to make me feel like I'm not alone in having … woe."

Rae gives a short laugh. "Believe me, Archie – you've plenty of company when it comes to woe," she tells him with an emphatic nod of her head and a raised eyebrow. That makes him smile and he stretches his hand across the table to grip hers hard.

"I love you, you know – if I wasn't gay – "

"We might not have even become friends," she tells him and sees him flinch and his hand tighten around hers convulsively. She feels a stab of remorse. Her dig was unkind and unwarranted.

"I'm sorry, Archie. Sometimes I'm a bitch …"

Archie smiles bravely and shakes his head. "You're not a bitch, Rae. You just call it as you see it. But sometimes, your own hang-ups give you wonky vision." That makes her smile.

There's a peremptory knock on the window and they look up and see Finn standing on the other side of the window staring in at them, his gaze not missing the shared milkshake and their clasped hands across the table.

They watch as he comes into the café. "Bit swish isn't it?" he asks, looking around warily.

"To what do we owe this pleasure?" Archie asks him ironically and Finn shrugs.

"Saw your scooter parked out front and came lookin' around," he tells them. "Didn't mean to crash your date," he teases and Rae rolls her eyes at the same time as Archie.

"He's just being a dickhead," Rae tells him.

"I know," Archie says with a grin. He gets to his feet and puts the money for the milkshake on the table. "I assume you don't mind getting a ride home with him?" he asks her and Rae pretends to look reluctant. 

She rises to her feet and they hug, Archie holding on for several seconds longer than necessary. She finds his affection comforting.

"Bye," he waves and they watch him leave.

Rae waits for Finn to ask her what that was all about, or worse – ask her again if she's all right. Instead, he indicates the milkshake. "Want another one?"

"Nah, it was gross," she tells him and he laughs.

"Let's head off then," he suggests.

She clambers onto the scooter behind him. As they pull up in front of her house she continues to keep her arms wrapped around his waist for a moment before releasing him and climbing off. 

"Thanks for the ride," she tells him, standing in front of him feeling more than a little awkward.

"Ever been bowling?" he asks her suddenly.

Taken by surprise, she shakes her head quickly. 

"Wanna go tonight?" He's smiling and his dark eyes look hopeful.

She stares at him, trying not to let the shock show on her face. "Sure."

"I'm ducking home to change … be back to get you in an hour?"

"I could meet you there …"

"Don’t be daft – I'll be back for you," he tells her with a grin. 

She watches him ride away, a smile on her face. Tix would be so excited at the latest development. Rae's smile fades and her face crumples slightly before she regains control of herself.

She thinks of Finn's smile, the hopefulness of his gaze and she knows that everything's all right – for now.


End file.
